Shawn’s Movie-ranking Guide

I use a 10-point scale. You’ll probably notice that most films are going to fall in the 4-7 range. But let’s face it–most movies are going to land there. The truly awful don’t get the best financing and exposure, and the truly great (unfortunately) don’t come along that often, either. Hopefully, the score and the detailed review will help you decide if the film is worth your time.

1. Avoid this movie at all costs! This is the type of movie that they show enemies of the state to get them to confess.
2. This is the worst movie you will ever see, because most people have enough sense to stay away from a 1.
3. This film has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. This is the type of movie that you only watch on a dare, or because your significant other wants to see it. (If he/she does, you might want to reconsider that relationship.)
4. There’s something not quite right about this film. It’s seriously lacking in one or more major aspects.
5. Not a terrible film, but nothing to write home about, either. You might see it if you like the genre or one of the actors. Maybe a candidate for rental, cable, or Netflix.
6. You definitely would not mind paying to see this film in the theater. Popcorn, even. A nice film experience.
7. This is a great film; a “must see.” Something here, a performance maybe, goes above and beyond.
8. This movie would make your Top Ten of the Year list.
9. You want to watch this movie multiple times. Today. You can freely quote lines from the film to your friends. They most likely hate you for it.
10. This is the best movie you’ve ever seen. You fashion your life after this film.

Now, excuse me while I try to swap out the idol with a bag of sand, and avoid the giant boulder…