(Originally from Facebook – August 1, 2013)

I’m not sure what I just watched. Talk about your polarizing films. I noticed that this film has been the subject of a back and forth online, with people either loving it or hating it. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why anyone would love it. I thought maybe I missed something, misunderstood something, so I spent the better part of an hour reading through reviews (pro and amateur), trying to figure out why those who thought it was great thought it was great. The truth is, there was nothing in those reviews that was revelatory to me. Nothing I hadn’t seen in the film. The (unintentionally) funniest one was Richard Roeper’s review for the Chicago Sun-Times. His review is almost entirely a list of all the things I found awful about it, and yet his last sentence? “This is one of the most shocking and one of the best movies of the year.” Well, he’s half right, anyway.

I really enjoyed Bronson and Drive, so I was looking forward to Only God Forgives. All I can say is that I hope He forgives Nicolas Winding Refn for making this film. It was…style without substance. Pretty to look at, as are Refn’s other films, but dear god, it was devoid of anything interesting or meaningful. One thing it’s not devoid of is violence, though, which is why Roeper calls it “shocking.” But even the violence seems to be there only for its own sake, to draw attention to itself. “Look at me! Look at me!” It only contributes to the feeling of pretentious self-indulgence that the film conveys. Add to that a hint of incest, and a not-so-subtle religious metaphor, and the end product is one best skipped. One reviewer got it right when he said that this is the occasional result when a young director has some early success, and as a result, gets to make whatever movie he wants to. It’s a shame, too, as I was also looking forward to his Valhalla Rising, but now I’m having second thoughts.

IMDB gives it an unfathomable 6.2. I’m giving it a 3.5, and the .5 is because it was filmed real purty-like. (Lots of reds and blues, just like in the poster above!) (running time 1:30)