This film makes me really miss Debbie Reynolds. Damien Chazelle (Whiplash) functions here like Tarantino—patching together scenes and nods to the great films of the genre, hoping that those who aren’t familiar with them will find them fresh and charming, and those who are familiar will revel in the nostalgia. Unfortunately, it ends up feeling like a pastiche of clichés. I found it to be nearly devoid of charm, with the exception of two numbers—the couple’s first dance together, and Stone’s audition song.

The acting is passable (I’m still not sure how Gosling, who I normally love, got the Golden Globe. He’s not dying or anything, right?*), but the choreography is simplistic and let’s be honest—the singing probably wouldn’t make it past the first round of “American Idol.” Of course the film does include John Legend, but in another mystifying choice, I had to wonder: why take the one person in the film who is actually a professional singer and make him the “sell-out”?

I’m mystified as to how this film is getting such rave reviews. I can only put it down to some sort of cinematic illiteracy, which I find surprising from professional reviewers. Are they that young that they’re not familiar with the classic musicals that featured true triple threats, such as Gene Kelly? I felt about this film much as I did about Best Picture Oscar-winner The Artist, which dealt with the era of silent films: why would I want to watch pale imitations of the originals, these routine routines, when the originals are available? Actually, now that I think of it, some of the hype might come from a good dose of Hollywood navel-gazing. The industry surely does love films about the industry.

That said, the last twenty minutes or so of the film are amazing. It’s hard to watch them and not get filled with emotion. It’s where the film truly shines. But although it does contain a nod to another Hollywood great—Casablanca, there’s very little “musical” in that last act! And I think that’s why the film never lived up to the hype for me—the musical part got in the way of what was otherwise an interesting story. A distraction of novelty, if you will. There may have been a bit of what I call “The Departed Effect” going on here, too. That’s when the last ten or twenty minutes of a film are so shocking or powerful or enjoyable that you forget just how average the rest of the film was. (The reverse of that?  “The Abyss Effect.”)

IMDB has it at an 8.6, which—as I’m sure you’ve already suspected—is a little high for me. I’d put it at about a 7.0, but only because of those last 20 minutes. I guess I just have to admit that I’m in the minority about this film. But I have to call them as I see them. I just don’t see this film holding up over time. Will you enjoy it? Probably. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it, because I did. But I was also a little irritated by its (largely unsuccessful) attempt at recapturing those great musicals of the past. I guess it’s true: they just don’t make them like they used to. (running time 2:08)

* I actually thought he was much better in The Nice Guys than he was here.