Month: June 2016

Scienceless Fiction (2014)

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(No IMDB poster available)

You think you may have seen the worst movie you will ever see in your life. And then you find out you’re wrong. This film is the worst most vile piece of filth that I’ve ever seen. I’m not kidding. I wouldn’t even have reviewed it, except that I kind of feel a duty to make sure that nobody ever, ever, EVER sees it.  I know that there’s probably a couple of you out there, thinking “well, now I’ve GOT to see it, just to see how bad it is!” Please don’t. Again, I’m not kidding. Continue reading →

Aloha (2015)

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I was prepared not to like this one, but as it turned out, it was a decent watch. A lot of the negativity I had heard had to do with Emma Stone’s character, Allison Ng, who is one-quarter Hawaiian. Some people were up in arms that a little white girl was playing a Hawaiian. How dare she?! Of course, there is no “real” Allison Ng (the character was based on someone director Cameron Crowe knew. A redhead, no less), Continue reading →

Mr. Right (2015)

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Martha: Do you think he’s evil? [excitedly] What if he is?! You know, when I was little I used to have this fantasy I was dating Lex Luthor.

Sophie: From Superman?  Wasn’t he, like, a genius? Your guy’s more like a sexy Rainman.

That’s not a bad description of “Mr. Right,” played by Sam Rockwell. If you know me, you know that I have a bit of a man-crush on Sam, and this film is no exception. He’s at his Rockwelliest here, playing a dancing, quirky hitman/assassin who—like some sort of demented Buddhist—has tapped into the flow of the universe and now uses his powers to dispense his own brand of Karma. Continue reading →

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (2016):

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I wasn’t sure I was going to buy John Krasinski as a bearded, ex-military tough guy. I wondered if every once in a while somebody would shout out something obvious (“They’re storming the gate!”) and he’d turn to face the camera and smirk. But it turns out he’s definitely believable as a tough guy. As are all the major leads—James Badge Dale and Pablo Schreiber in particular. Continue reading →

The Brothers Grimsby (2016)

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I have no idea how to handle this Sacha Baron Cohen led spy spoof. On the one hand, there are some sweet moments covering the back story between Cohen’s goofy-but-loveable Nobby and his long lost brother, Sebastian (played by Mark Strong), who has grown up to become one of Britain’s best superspies. On the other, it really goes that extra mile to surpass the Farrelly Brothers in the “gross-out” comedy genre. You see my dilemma? Continue reading →

Money Monster (2016)

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If Money Monster was a stock you owned, right now I’d be yelling at you to “sell! Sell!” The film tries to sell itself as both a film of social criticism and a hostage thriller. Unfortunately, as a film of social criticism, it never seems to get much more specific than “rich=bad” and “poor (and in this case, stupid) =good”; and as a thriller, it never gets very thrilling. Continue reading →

Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead (2014)

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This film was tasteless, wall-spatteringly gory, and incredibly simplistic…and was the most fun I’ve had watching a movie in a long time. This sequel to 2009’s Dead Snow couldn’t help but remind me of another sequel—Evil Dead II (1987). First, because it didn’t take itself too seriously, and included a good deal of humor with the gore, and secondly because it’s one of those rare exceptions in Hollywood where the sequel is quite a bit better than the original. Continue reading →

The Forgotten (2014)

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You know how when a film is marketed as a horror film, but it’s not really a horror film, but more of a drama, and everyone hates it because “it’s boring and nothing happens”? Well, you don’t have to worry so much about that with this film because even though it IS a drama masquerading as a horror film, it’s a pretty decent drama, too. Continue reading →