(No IMDB poster available)

You think you may have seen the worst movie you will ever see in your life. And then you find out you’re wrong. This film is the worst most vile piece of filth that I’ve ever seen. I’m not kidding. I wouldn’t even have reviewed it, except that I kind of feel a duty to make sure that nobody ever, ever, EVER sees it.  I know that there’s probably a couple of you out there, thinking “well, now I’ve GOT to see it, just to see how bad it is!” Please don’t. Again, I’m not kidding. I pride myself on sticking with a movie to the end, no matter how bad it is, just because I feel like I’ve made a contract with the filmmaker to give it a shot, once I start it. I BARELY made it to the twenty minute mark, and that was only because I was preoccupied at whether or not I was going to be able to write about it enough to warn people away.

I don’t even know how to describe it. There’s no plot to speak of. The entire film consists of men in clown suits (one of whom is supposed to be Hitler) setting new records for using racist slang. (I quit when one of the clowns started telling racist black Santa Claus jokes.) And that seems to alternate with naked women who stand around, and occasionally dance. Oh, and it’s all set to a heavy metal soundtrack. Now, you might be thinking that that sounds like some kind of interesting cult movie. That maybe it’s like one of those “so bad it’s good” movies that you can laugh at. Stop it. Stop it right now. You might also think that “well, it can’t be that bad if naked women are dancing around.” You say that because you didn’t see the women.

Please don’t watch this. If you still think I’m joking about it, and decide that you want to see it for yourself, for the love of God, call me. I will personally come over to your house and slap you hard several times across the face, and maybe punch you in the gut once or twice. Not to dissuade you from watching the film, but because that is what it will feel like when you do, and I’m just saving you the trouble.

IMDB has this at a 2.1. I don’t have a zero or negatives on my scale, so I guess I have to give it a 1.0, which if you remember is “Avoid this movie at all costs! This is the type of movie that they show enemies of the state to get them to confess.” But it’s a zero. A big racist zero. (running time 1:49)